After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize