my room smells like sperm. sweet.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Randomize
