Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
North Korea, Best Korea!
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
