where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize