k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Randomize
