...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
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