shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
