Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
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