operation harelip BJ is a go
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
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