Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
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