No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
