drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
