lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
