i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
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