"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
I want you more than these girls want KFC
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
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