Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
