When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize