i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Randomize