Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
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