when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
