D3 body, D1 cock
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Randomize
