I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
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