one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
operation have a gay friend backfired
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Randomize
