Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Floor bacon is actually really good
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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