Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
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