Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
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