wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Randomize
