Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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