For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
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