she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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