You just made me feel so damn special
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I want a musical about memes.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Randomize
