i permit you to call me
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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