This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
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