Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
