Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
