at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
