You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Randomize
