I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
