So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
I want you more than these girls want KFC
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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