he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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