Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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