ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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