were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
