God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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