How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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