Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
