so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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