Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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