Sry I called you an 8
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Randomize
