We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
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