i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Randomize
