My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
