if you like me you must not know who I am
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize