I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
