if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
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