There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
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