Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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