It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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